Out of place

While the rest of the world is moving forward, I feel like I'm just standing still, half conscious or perhaps pretend not to see what's going on around me. Hybernating? Or simply ignoring. I don't care, honestly. Deep down I feel like I still have a lot of exploring to do in this place, weekend adventures and a few days off to another part of the country. But when? How? Don't have the energy to plan all of this. Mike would've said something like "I'm all booked up until the next couple of weeks.... Try next century"

One thing I noticed recently was how much frustration I've had about this place. Didn't even know I had so much bitterness until yesterday. Was surprised myself but quickly thought, what the hell, they don't understand me anyway. Maybe this is also what has kept me from coming back to check up on the girls at the hotel. Enough of this please. Let me have something else on the shelves. Difficult to say, probably a mix of rock-bottom frustation, anger, bitterness, mental suffocation and inability to change the problem at hand because I AM NOT THE FREAKIN' DRIVER ANYMORE!!!! I have no control over these things and I have VERY LITTLE tolerance level at this point. Not now. Not today. Ask me some other time. Thank you.

The man is gone now.

Funny how we see things from different perspective, I mean Mike and me. He saw a broken man walking out of here. They'll never be able to see eye to eye. I, on the other hand, see a man with visions who strives hard to achieve them. Along the way, he's made a couple of others to see it too.

I still think it's important to have him walk out of here proud, of what he's created along with all of the significant impacts brought to the city, as he promised long time ago. Some people may not have the ability to look up with the intention to be better, instead they look down comparing themselves with those down below and thought "This can't be right". It's light-years-ahead concept that we have in hand and now you're telling us you want the stone age simplicity??? I really don't understand.....