This manipulative world

Just got this article from my sis, which somehow suits well with my current situation. I've been wondering whether a mind set of other person can harmfully affect someone - or whether this jibberish really exists? Well, I guess it does. So it's true that it's important to have other people's belief (or support in this matter) as it sends you a positive energy to achieve the best result.

How others manipulate us daily without our knowledge

You meet some people any given day who fill you with pleasure and joy of life. You feel comfortable and agreeable with them. Their energies are radiating, they just merge with yours, you feel pleased, content and healthy.

On the other hand you meet few others that fill you with anguish, anger, frustration and their mere mention can fill us with rage, sadness, disgust and very unhealthy feelings. They literally make us sick by their very presence in real or in our psyche or mind or soul. This does happen to all beings every single day on any plane. This whole process does occur on a subconscious level of mind, where you feel the vibrations but you don't really notice consciously or you simply do not or can't do much about it.

Most of the conscious acts of our daily life are well thought, planned or improvised but they are approved by our self-knowledge, experience and current state of mind. However the unconscious acts of daily life are hidden under an opaque glass of memory bank, which is like a fixed deposit that you cannot access constantly; because they are programmed very carefully. Many of these acts by unconscious part of mind are automatic, happen without much effort on our part. When they are pleasing we enjoy them. When they are not pleasing we are altered and their strong impact is noticed through images & reflections we see in OTHERS whom we have to inter-act with. This unconscious act of reflection leaves deep impression on conscious mind and suddenly we feel it on our physical body. The impression of such acts on body is usually very negative and they leave us from minor headaches to serious alterations in metabolism to life threatening dysfunctions.

How to deal with these negative and threatening images? The root cause of these programmed acts is our past experiences of this and other lives that is called upon as soon as we SEE a person related or associated with that act.

The acts in reality are like throwing stones on a silent, quiet, placid lake of mind. Waves created by such turbulence are shapes of our emotions that are activated by such acts. Example, fear, a very inherent built-in emotion resides in deep layers of mind but it is only activated when we are to see or feel some old programmed act reflected in a current act or person or event.

For example, lets say, you get shock waves through your mind and body upon seeing a long, sharp knife or a creepy animal. The act of FEELING fear is activated within us. The fear was already residing but it was quiet, dormant but upon seeing the images of knife or animal - it gets awakened.

Although merely an image it activates a sleepy programmed memory of some past experience. Likewise all negative people who we interact with; activate and alter our sleepy emotions, which can actually hurt us very seriously, only if we KEEP that image in our storage. If you just concentrate for few seconds, face it, and do not accept it, your mind will repel that image and it will be out. If however out of fear or disability or lethargy, you keep viewing the image, it will keep altering you and soon it will convert in a headache or panic or stress. If it only focuses on a particular part of the body, that area will be affected and will cause grave damage.

If you become strong, resistant and do not accept the negative image not suiting you well, it will not affect you and this way you can remain in good shape and nothing will affect you. Since this entire episode is on subconscious level, we don't usually give it much importance and ignore it; but if you become aware & alert, you can face it, reject it, repel it and get away from such damaging interactions.

In order to live in this world, you are bound to meet people from all walks of life. Each person you interact with, from the closest to a stranger, has his/her own history. They see you from THEIR eyes; experiences. They view you through colors of their own, not yours. Hence consciously or unconsciously, if you meet some unpleasant people, deal with them without accepting their deep images so that their interaction does not alter or activate your inner dormant feelings. You need to develop & practice on this matter, soon the IMMUNE system of your soul will be hardened like the skin of a turtle, and thus not letting an evil person affect you ever, saving you from bad moods, ill health and consequent disasters. The key of not activating your inner emotions is in your hand. By ignoring you give that key to others. Once you do that you can't expect much. Giving away key leaves you unsafe, vulnerable and weak. Control the keys.

In a different light

This made us miss celebrating xmas with friends even more......

Let me try once more to describe this in a different light. Christmas is celebrated as a big festivity with friends in here, it seems that the concept is well accepted, although it has lost its r*ligious meaning somehow, but still won’t miss the fun with all xmas feast, eggnogs, roast turkey and brandy snaps …. *that’s quite a Kiwi thing though. Mike is crazy about those delicacies*

I was pleasantly surprise to learn that in the town where I live in, people are quite adaptive somehow to this ‘western culture’. Mike shared with me the other day that he hesitated to start a promotion on christmas dinner thing, concerned on how the market was going to react. Well, they LOVE these things. First dinner was a success. The second one, coming soon for 350 seats, all sold out. What amazes me, was that these guys had only 3 weeks to launch it and made a success. In a small town like this, very impressive, babe! Well done! Honestly, I’ve never imagined that I would be part of an authentic christmas celebration in a local way. It’s uniquely Changshu, what their perception of what christmas should be like.

I think I’m getting to learn a bit more about them. The hotel lobby was full of little “elves” - those angelic creatures with wings and white stockings, bunch of kids wearing Santa’s little helpers outfit with clown’s face painting…… a bit of here and there, actually. But, they were quite cheerful and giggly.

Hotpot Project

Berhubung disini udah masuk winter dan cuaca sering nggak jelas, bisa mendung seharian tanpa matahari dan temperatur ngedrop mendekati nol, atau ada matahari jrueng tapi teteup gak ngaruh lah, dingin aja..... orang banyak yang masak hotpot di rumahnya. Di supermarket jadi banyaaaaakkk banget dijual bumbu2 hotpot, segala merk, berikut hotpot set yang siap masak, kemasan lengkap bahan-bahannya, sayur / daging berikut bumbu. Tau sendiri gw udah lama give up semangat masak gue, sejak bumbu2 Indo kiriman nyokap ludes. Masak sendiri kalo kangen makanan Indo, kalo pengen makan chinese atau yang lain mendingan mampir ke hotel lah. Udah bikin kotor dapur, ribet macem-macem, cuma dapet satu macem masakan. Sutralah. Tapi bumbu hotpot yang dari supermarket bikin pengen nyoba. Kayanya seru banget kali ya, kaldunya yang merah nyala mengkilat, pake udang, pake enoki mushroom, tahu, sluuurrrpp.... Sooo, siang kemaren jalan2 beli bumbu hotpot. Setelah jadi, manggil Mike buat jadi kelinci percobaan. "Cobain deh, ini rasa baru, ada kimchi nya loh" Mike sengaja mampir dari kantor, seneng dong dimasakin "Tampangnya kayanya enak" Tapi begitu dia nyobain....iiiihhhh mukanya yang langsung berubah gitu. "Enak kok! Kamu sempet nyobain gak tadi?" "Enggak lah, aku nungguin kamu dulu nyobain" sambil cekikikan "Idih, pantesan. Nih cobain sesendok......" YAK, ampunilah diriku yang suka jahil iniiiii..... asinnya gilamak!!!! Mana MSGnya satu truk kali tuh.... Busroooooottttttt Mike ngakak nggak berenti. Duuuuhhh, udahlah nggak usah pake masak. Ntar malem kita dinner di hotel lagi aja ya? Hiks... hiks.... Hotpot Project - Day 1 judulnya : Ghaghaaaaalllllllllll

20 Things about Me

1.) Favorite seat in classroom: last row, corner, where total privacy is guaranteed

2.) Dream in colors; although sometimes involve flying and time travelling

3.) Comfort zone means books, coffee, writing/drawing tools within reach and lots of colorful cushions around

4.) Hate celery, reminds me of my grandma's kiss

5.) Best shopping day is sitting in the largest bookstore with endless rows of my favorite topics, thumbing through the pages for hours

6.) Images, feelings and words have distinct tastes and textures to me

7.) Reconnecting with nature means breathing in the nature around me and melting within it, total silence, listening within.... or swimming with the waves - feel the power when they crash me to the ocean floor & lift me up immediately to the surface.

8.) A mushrooms and tofu freak. Give me more of those......!

9.) Recently adopting an expensive habit - champagne orange in the afternoon.

10.) Have a mortal fear of going broke (yeah and point no. 9 is not really helping at all) and a claustrophobic.

11.) Have an affinity with Native American culture & history

12.) Convince that I met my husband in a dream 4 years before I actually met him in person

13.) ....... also met the three children (boy, girl, boy) in that same dream

14.) Have a secret promise to somebody that I haven't been able to keep up to this day

15.) Name stuffed toys and diaries. Eugene, Navajo, Bob & Klover, Vino Pesca, Kittekat

16) Think that chilies are main course, not condiments

17.) Don't laugh, but giggle. No photos please, I got bad teeth

18.) Look up to those people with principles, doing things for the right reasons with passion. (* I love you heaps, baby!*)

19.) Listening to Linkin Park now. Double thumbs up!

20.) Final truth, mind is a powerful thing, but can be deceitful. Think what you want yourself to be. But somewhere inside, you'll always know it's only a "stage act".

Please stop the world and let me weep

The brunch was called off, got up too late. Spent the entire morning lazying around on the warm sofa watching news and AXN. Kitkat was enjoying her sunbath nearby - stretching, yawning and purring loud.

There's a subtle melancholy in the air, and I know he felt the same way too. We spent the day together, grocery shopping to Auchan, heart to heart talk, mellowed out in couple massage at the spa, dinner at JJ's and more cuddles. But this feeling stayed on ...... forcing the view of a bigger perspective of human interconnectedness.

I'm not looking for consolation, I'm not looking for answers nor hear the right-or-wrong values, I'm not looking for contradiction nor approval. I've always had this question about who we are. Nothing more than accumulated perceptions gained in a lifetime.


"Mom said that "this" and "that" is bad for you" "Uncle X likes to draw. I really like his paintings" "Mom used to tell me stories about grandma how she loved cooking & that she was a forward thinker in her time. Great grandma apparently had the same qualities, she was a progressive thinking lady in her time, landlady of a vast plantation in West Java and a great horseback rider"

"Grandad was a great linguist, self taught in Italian, Japanese, Dutch, English and Latin"


** Today, I am all of those bits and pieces of qualities and perceptions which I thought is ME. Perhaps this will help me to understand myself better - and the rest of the world. I remember a story from my childhood, Hans Christian Anderson collection about The Ugly Duckling, how you grow up thinking you are what the society think you are. Not because of who you really are.


How sad it is to hold on to something that doesn't really exist, that deluding perceptions of who you are. Perhaps we all need some kind of comfort zone to measure ourselves against the harsh perceptions from the society we live in. Constantly struggling to be accepted. Constantly defending the illusive Self, pride, status, feelings...... It's exhausting - and I think it is so unfair that we have never been given the chance to break this away world of perception. It is sad.